Two very different energy drinks. One opinion you didn’t ask for but are going to get anyway.

I’ll be upfront: I’m not a huge fan of energy drinks. Red Bull tastes like garbage cough syrup to me — except for a couple of the flavored versions — so going into any energy drink comparison, I’m already a skeptic. That said, I gave both Lucozade and Monster a proper, fair shot. Here’s exactly what happened.

Part One: Lucozade — A Year in the Making

For probably a year and a half, maybe two years, people kept asking me to try Lucozade. Ever since I started doing drink reviews, it was a consistent request in the comments. I kept seeing it, kept meaning to grab it, but it’s not something you just walk into a gas station and find in North America.

Then I was in Southampton, England, walking through Tesco, and there it was.

I’ll admit — I even had to look up how to pronounce it properly before talking about it. It’s Lucozade, almost like “Lucoz-aid” but with a d at the end. Once you’ve said it a few times it feels natural, but it’s not a word I grew up with.

I grabbed two bottles — the original and an orange flavor — brought them back to Canada, and chilled the original on ice before cracking it open.

The price: The original runs about one and a half pounds in the UK, which worked out to around $2.21 USD or just under $3 Canadian. The other flavors are a little cheaper, around a pound twenty-five, but the original costs a touch more for some reason. Still — not a bad price for something this hyped.

What Lucozade Original Actually Tastes Like

The moment I poured it, I noticed the carbonation. Serious fizz. The bubbles were aggressive and lively — way more carbonation than I was expecting for something marketed as an energy drink.

The smell hit me next, and this is where it gets interesting: if you blindfolded me and put it under my nose, I would have guessed Jell-O. Not the finished product — I mean that specific moment when you pour hot water into the powder and that warm, fruity steam comes off it. That’s exactly what Lucozade Original smells like. It’s sweet and artificial in a very nostalgic way.

The taste is genuinely hard to put into words. A lot of people warned me it was “indescribable,” and I understand why they say that now, but I’m going to give it my best shot: it’s like a light orange drink — somewhere around Orange Crush territory — crossed with Alka-Seltzer. There’s this fizzy, almost medicinal quality on the palate that catches you off guard. It’s not sweet the way Coke or Pepsi is sweet. The carbonation hits first and dominates, then a soft orange flavor comes through underneath.

Is it a bad taste? No. Is it a weird one? One hundred percent. It almost tastes like medicine — but like good medicine. The kind you don’t dread. I finished it, and I found myself wanting to crack open the orange flavor almost immediately.

People drink Lucozade after a big night out — it’s that post-party, get-your-electrolytes-back drink in the UK — and honestly, the slightly medicinal fizz makes a lot of sense for that purpose. It feels like it’s doing something.

Part Two: Monster Energy — A Full Lineup Rundown

Going into Monster, I had low expectations. My baseline experience with energy drinks is Red Bull original, and that tastes like cherry cough syrup to me. I tried Monster’s original flavor first, and I’ll be honest — it didn’t do much to change my mind at first.

Original (Green Can): The moment I opened it, it smelled medicinal. That same weird chemical smell energy drinks always seem to have. And the taste confirmed it — just cough syrup. Not cherry Kool-Aid, not a fruity drink, just cough syrup. I genuinely couldn’t tell you what fruit it was supposed to be. My verdict: on par with — or possibly worse than — Red Bull original. Not impressed.

I was ready to write Monster off completely. Then I tried the Mango Loco.

Mango Loco: Mango and watermelon are my two favorite fruits in the world. So when this one smelled exactly like mango — real, proper mango, not artificial mango candy — I was already warming up to it. And the taste? That’s basically a fizzy mango juice box. It’s what you’d get if someone carbonated a really good mango drink and put it in a can. I’m someone who believes the only perfect tens in my world are Miss Vickie’s jalapeño chips and a mango juice box — and this hit a 9.8 out of 10. Seriously. That surprised me.

Ultra Watermelon: Smells sweet right out of the can, which is a good sign. I’d already tried the Red Bull watermelon flavor and thought it was pretty good, so my expectations were reasonable. The taste was solid — like a melted Jolly Rancher watermelon candy. My suspicion is that Red Bull and Monster are using the same or a very similar flavor formula for the watermelon, because they land in basically the same place. It’s good. 8.2 out of 10.

Ultra Sunrise: I didn’t even know what “Ultra Sunrise” was supposed to mean as a flavor before I opened it. Then it hit me with orange. Just straight orange. I smelled it, took a sip, and thought — this is basically Orange Crush. I genuinely wouldn’t be surprised if they poured Orange Crush into a Monster can, added the energy blend, and called it Ultra Sunrise. If you like Orange Crush, you will like this. 8.1 out of 10.

Aussie Lemonade: Smells like lemonade, tastes like lemonade with a little extra kick. It reminded me of Seven Up, but more lemony and a little sharper. It’s refreshing, it’s clean, and it doesn’t have that cough syrup weight that the original does. 8.4 out of 10 — actually edges out the watermelon for me.

Regular Watermelon: This one confused me. We already had the Ultra Watermelon, which was an 8.2, and I assumed “regular watermelon” would be in the same ballpark. It wasn’t. This one tasted medicinal — like they took the Ultra Watermelon and added a splash of cough syrup into it. It’s the same problem as the original green can. Something in the non-Ultra formula just doesn’t work for my palate. 3.9 out of 10.

My Monster Flavor Rankings

The pattern is pretty clear: stick to the fruity flavors — especially mango — and Monster can be genuinely great. Anything in the “original” style formula tastes medicinal and flat-out bad to me.

Lucozade vs Monster: Which One Wins?

These two drinks are actually more similar than you’d think — and more different than you’d expect at the same time.

What they share: Both have that slightly medicinal, slightly chemical edge. Both are carbonated. Both lean into the electrolyte/energy positioning. If you hate that medicinal quality in energy drinks, Lucozade’s version is softer and more drinkable — it wears it more naturally, almost charmingly. Monster’s original formula hits you over the head with it.

Where they split apart: Monster’s fruit flavors — especially Mango Loco — are genuinely excellent. They taste like real fruit drinks with an energy kick. Lucozade Original is one unified, unique, difficult-to-describe experience. It doesn’t have a lineup of fruit flavors pulling it in different directions; it’s just itself.

If you’re looking for something to sip on: Monster Mango Loco wins in a head-to-head. It’s approachable, it’s delicious, and it doesn’t taste like medicine.

If you’re looking for something genuinely different and iconic: Lucozade. There is nothing quite like it. It’s a drink with a personality, and that Alka-Seltzer-meets-orange-crush experience is something I still think about.

Bottom line: Don’t judge Monster by the original green can — that thing is rough. And don’t skip Lucozade just because it sounds unfamiliar. Give both a proper chance, and you might surprise yourself.

My personal order of preference: Monster Mango Loco → Lucozade Original → Monster Aussie Lemonade → Monster Ultra Watermelon → everything else.

The mango won. I didn’t expect that either.

Have you tried Lucozade, Monster, or both? What’s your go-to flavor? Drop it in the comments — I’m always on the hunt for the next thing to try.